Communal Living

I like the idea of living in community. It's a big thing for our church, given that "community" is part of it's name. (So, it pretty much HAS to be a big thing...)

It's a philosophy that has changed our church over time. I remember when I first rocked up to church - all scared and newbie-ish. I got introduced to people who are basically some of the people who know me best in the world now. It was just awkward, stilted conversation - I didn't speak to them again for over a year.

Now, when new people come in we actually go over and talk to them. We invite them to small groups, we make them feel welcome. (Or at least we try to...) The atmosphere is competely different. I could say that it's all about us and because we've tried to make people feel welcome. But I don't think it is. I think it's more about an attitude change, being intentional and being inclusive not exclusive.

Which hasn't necessarily been easy. I remember having to seriously try to persuade a dear, dear friend of mine to come with me to talk to some new people. He didn't. They left and I've never seen them again.

Which brings me to the "well" idea - which is one we often use for youth group. Church isn't about penning people in with rules and restrictions. It's not a corral/pen/paddock, it's more of a watering hole. It draws people in because they see something they like, something they want.

Community. Love. Respect.

(Yes, I know I harp on alot about love...but it's important.)

I miss living in the community. At the moment I live about 20mins away from church - and some of my closest friends. It really does kinda suck. When I lived "in the neighbourhood" (so to speak) there was always someone around the corner who you knew who went to church. If you needed something - anything - you could just go around. (Some friends of mine went through the church directory at 11pm trying to think of someone who'd have hayfever medication and still be awake - and they found someone!) You'd go to the supermarket and run into people you knew.

There's something quite homey about that. There's something I miss about that. I miss living with my friends - we had some great times. (I'm msn-ing my ex-flatmate who's up in Hamilton studying and I miss her!!!) More than that, when I came home completely exhausted/angry/upset/frustrated - I knew that there'd be someone there for me.

I think community is a great idea. It teaches you to relate to others and to put them before yourself. Which, really, is kinda what Jesus did.

Missional lives, lives with intent

You may or may not know (depending on how attentive you are) that I've been reading Blue Like Jazz recently and am loving it. I just don't have time to finish it and I semi don't want to finish it because that means that it's over. But this is a major digression.

I read something in it that really challenged me the other day:

"He had been to some sort of pastors reception where a guy spoke about how the church ahs lost touch with people who didn't know about Jesus. Rick said he was really convicted about this and asked us if we thought we needed to repent and start lovng people who were very different from us. We all told him yes, we did, but I don't think any of us knew what that meant. Rick said that he thought it meant that we should live missional lives, that we should intentionally befriend people who are different from us. I didn't like the sound of that, to be honest. I didn't want to befriend somebody just to trick them into going to my church. Rick said that was not what he was talking about. He said he was talking about loving people just because they exist - homeless people and Gothic people and gays and fruit nuts. And then I liked the sound of it. I liked the idea of loving people just to love them, not to get them to come to church..." - Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz p.135

I liked that term, "missional lives". I liked what it meant and I felt really challenged about that. So often for me the point of getting to know people is getting them to church. And once they're there then they're "in" and I don't have to worry about it at all.

But what about just loving them because they are who God created them to be?

We're gearing up for Harvest at the moment. It is a big deal. 104 churches in the Christchurch area have signed up. I was so sceptical when I first heard about it, but I have a feeling/expectation now that it will be great. I feel a strong sense of connection to anyone who's car sports a Greg Laurie bumper sticker. (Not kidding!)

But it's really challenging. We went to a prayer meeting specifically for Harvest last night and they were saying that it wasn't just about the praying. Because the devil wants to keep us on our knees so we don't do anything else. We actually have to go out and be intentional.

Intentional.

1. Done deliberately; intended
2. Having to do with intention.

What would the world, your city, your community, your apartment block, your household, look like if we were intentional about loving each other just because?

What would it look like if we were intentional about being disciples?

What would it look like if we were intentional about being proactive?

What would it look like if we were intentional about being lights in this world, about living missional lives?

What then?

Facedown - Matt Redman

Welcomed in, to the courts of the king
I've been ushered into your presence
Lord, I stand on your merciful ground
Yet with every step tread with reverence

And I'll fall facedown
As your glory shines around
Yes I'll fall facedown
As your glory shines around

Who is there in the heavens likeyou
And upon the earth who's your equal?
You are far above. You're the highest of heights
We are bowing down to exalt you

And I'll fall facedown
As your glory shines around
Yes I'll fall facedown
As your glory shines around

So let your glory shine around
Let your glory shine around
King of Glory, here be found
King of Glory...

I've been listening to this song almost obsessively lately. But it just speaks to me. I love, firstly, the songwriting of it all. Matt Redman is absolutely amazing for really stripped back songs. This song is basically just acoustic gats, bass and, only when it builds, drums and two vox. Amazing.

Lyrically - damn, I wish I could write lyrics like that. It's just so stripped back, so simple and yet so true. It just carries all the awe of stepping into the throne room and that feeling of "gosh, I cannot stand here. It's impossible because I am me and he is God." It's perfect.

I had a lot more to say. But I think I'll leave it here. I don't think even the lyrics can really explain the awesomeness of God. But then, maybe that's just me.

Actually, one last thing and then I'll leave it. I was talking to a certain songwriter the other night and he was saying "If we call God awesome, then we really can't call anything/anyone else awesome - because nothing else compares to God." Which is an intriguing point, I feel. Intriguing because it's true.

Ponder that. Think about the words you sing. Say. Mean.

Meet the youth worker

Sometimes it's really easy to be me, the youth worker/leader. Other times it's not so easy. Tonight, I got texted something not very nice about me that was supposed to go to someone else. Then I got about a billion apologies for it. It actually hurt a little - which I suppose it's supposed to do. (It's all good, means that I don't have a heart of stone.) Then I had to take someone home who really didn't want to go home because her mum's beating her again.

Meanwhile, I have a girl in Wellington who's partying it up because her team came third in the marching nationals and it's the first time I've seen/heard her happy in ages.

And, sometimes it's so easy to think "why me??" Other times I can slip into 'youth worker mode' just like that. Tonight was thankfully the latter.

My dear, dear mentor once said to me (not all that long ago, in fact) that it's easier to deal with their problems and issues when you're all good with God. If you're working through your own stuff then it's a whole lot easier to want to try to help others work through their stuff. She was right. (Funny that, she must be older and wiser than me; hence, my mentor...)

See, when I came back from being away I just could not be bothered. Seriously. And I think that was a lot to do with the fact that me and God hadn't really communicated in ages. We weren't really conversing and I'd just spent two months thinking about me and my future and what I wanted to do. Nevermind what God wanted me to do.

I got back and we were straight into things with youth group. Drove me nuts. Actually, that's not true. I had a great time with the other leaders on retreat. But I just didn't really want the "youth" part of youth group. Sometimes I still don't. I love them and all, but they're hard work! (And I don't mean that jestingly.)

But I know I'm meant to be here. I've learnt so much over the past two and a bit years. There's also a whole lot left for me to learn, but you know - I accept that!

Most of all, it's taught me about God's love. It's taught me that God's love has to underpin every single thing that we do. Otherwise we can't do it. We can't do it on our own. I think of last year and the police call outs, the times we had to hold people down so that they wouldn't hurt themselves or others, the stress the youth workers went through in school....the list goes on. We couldn't have done it if not for God. There's no way.

And I look at my girls now and I'm so damn proud of them. They've all come a long way. Yes, there's still issues, and there's moments when I want to chuck them all in a big ol' bag with rocks in the bottom and drop them in the middle of the ocean. But that's loving them.

Like I said before, love is a commitment. It's a choice.

Just my thoughts for the moment. I'm harping on about love a bit lately. Hm. Wonder what's on my mind???

Girl Porn and Relationships

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Typical, right? Single, Christian gal...getting on in years somewhat - why wouldn't I think about relationships? It doesn't help that we had a huge deep and meaningful relationship talk last night parked outside church. (Why is it that all deep and meaningful relationship talks occur in the church carpark late at night?? ...but I digress...)

Really though, "relationship" - as in the atypical 'boy/girl more than friends' kind of relationship has been sort of a taboo word with me for the past two years or so.

Mainly because I'm cynical and horribly afraid of them. I used to be this really naive person who really, truly believed that her prince would come. White horse and everyting. And then he'd sweep me off my feet and we'd ride off into the sunset. See what romance movies do for you???

Not so long ago, (last year in fact) our pastor did a sermon on lust. Yeah, I know - BIG topic, right? I mean, most people would rather avoid the subject of lust - yet it's something that affects every single one of us. If anyone out there in the blogosphere finds this a gross generalisation - please, please email me and we can discuss this.

Back to the topic at hand - most sane people would just avoid the topic. But not good ol' Muzza. Man, he's awesome. He pointedout that one of the major differences between males and females is that males are image driven, whereas females are more imagination driven. Hence, males prefer pornography, hence the profiliation of so called "girlie mags" in the media today. Females, on the other hand, find that their imagination gets fed by things like romance novels/movies.

FANTASY.

I think it made us all sit up a little straighter in church that sunday. I actually remember exactly where I was sitting when this sermon was preached. After that we all started refering to chick flicks as "girl porn" - which is a rather nice way of putting it I guess.

But when we actually thought about it, it was true. Every time I watch Pride and Prejudice (Yep, the original Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy version) I think to myself: One day my Mr. Darcy will come, and he'll be an ass but that's okay because love will prevail and we will live happily ever after. (Or something to that effect.)

I cried when I watched The Notebook. All the while thinking that it would be nice to find a man who loved me that much. Heck, everytime I listen to John Mayer's Your Body is a Wonderland or Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul - I wish that girl was me. While I'm being brutally honest here, Love Song for No One feels like me a LOT of the time and I think Dave Matthews' Crash Into Me is one of the most romantic songs of all times.

But again, I'm tangenting.

I guess the point is that I'm realising more and more than love and relationships aren't something that you can bottle and describe just like that. No relationship is ever the same. Love isn't all easy going and floaty and happy. Rather, loving someone is a challenge and loving someone for the rest of your life is a commitment that you have to make every single day. No jokes.

Two very good friends of mine have been in a stable relationship for the past four years now. Both of them readily admit that the other is the person that drives them up the wall the most. But they love each other, and because they love each other they make a commitment to stick it out.

Love is a risk. And often I think about my unwillingness to take a risk on - well, anyone (Which has a lot to do with my own personal issues) - and I wonder what life would be like if God hadn't decided that he'd take a risk on each and every one of us. Because he took the hugest risk of all, really. He dared to love us even though we might not love him back. He dared to love us even though we have our bad hair days, our bad attitudes and our selfish human ways.

Now there's a risk. And I'd bet that if you asked God, he'd tell you that it was a risk that was definately worth taking. Completely. Utterly. Worthwhile.

Thoughts on Religion

I've been reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz these past couple of weeks. The blurb reads: "Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality" and I love that. I love the way he writes it as well, he's just kinda rambling along and then all of a sudden whammo! he's got a point. And it's a damn good one as well.

It just reminds me of how so often we get caught up in "religion" and what we are and aren't supposed to do. We lose the fact that Christianity is less about what we do - and more about our connection with God. (Note that I'm as guilty of this as the next person...) If we want a religion that's about what we do we might as well just go back to Judeaism - because that's what it was. It was all about the Law. No, not the law (small 'l') but the Law (big 'L'). Their lives revolved around it.

Then all of a sudden along comes Jesus with his 'Blessed are the poor...' speech. That must have totally blown their minds. Here he was saying that the poor people, the marginalised people, the people who suffer and struggle with every day life, they are blessed. Can't you just see the Pharisees sitting there shaking their heads. Their entire way of life was being questioned. Jesus walked in and he loved people. He loved the people no one else had the courage to love - he loved the people no one else wanted to love.

Wow.

He was a hard act to follow, he still is. If you look through the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5-7) you'll see that it's all about how Jesus changed the law. He took the hard line on things like adultery and divorce. It seems like such a tough sermon. To me, it's a reminder about how I'll never really be enough. Y'know, I cover my light when it's convinient, I find it extremely hard to love my enemies, sometimes I don't really want to be a good person.

But I was thinking about this yesterday, and really, instead of reminding me that I'm not good enough, it should remind me about God's grace. And I think maybe that's the point of the Sermon on the Mount - to show us that we'll never live up to the standard that God sets for us, but that at the same time, it's okay. It's the standard we should try to reach, but it's still okay if we don't reach it. Because we can't.

I will never be able to live up to the standard Jesus set.

And guess what?

That's okay.

It really is. It doesn't mean I stop trying to meet that standard. On the contrary, I still try (and I still fail) - but I want to try. I want to try because that's what God asks me to do. It's not blind obediance, but it is done out of love.

That may sound cheesy and corny and all number of stupid things. But that's okay too. It doesn't mean that I'm here living my 'happy clappy' christian life. If I'm being honest I actually really dislike happy clappy christians - probably because they're that way because they've either reached some sort of strange nirvana that I've yet to reach. Or because they're so happy and clappy they must be faking it.

In any case, I find myself constantly amazed by Jesus. Which is probably a good thing, right?

How's that for a first post?