Friendships

So, I was reading this particular post by my particular cousin. (Yes, it makes sense if you think about it...)

It's true about friendships, well, about "relationships" in general. I personally find female-female friendships really hard. I have tons of great guy mates (holla!!! lol) who I love to bits. Most of them I wouldn't date. (One of them I would...but that's another story...) BUT I don't feel close to a lot of my chick friends. I love them, but there's always a wall there, like I'm scared to really let them in. (Bar one, but she's my mentor so I have to let her in...)

Same-sex friendships are important things. I think they are anyway, and I know the author of Captivating feels the same way. I just can't seem to get over my issues and cultivate a truly healthy same-sex friendship. The person I consider my best mate in like the whole world is a guy and he's like a brother to me. I can talk to him about anything. I can't do that with my chick friends, and I guess that that's something to do with my own personal fear of getting hurt/rejected.

I'm trying though. I've made a new friend (teehee) who's a chick and we don't have all this history of past hurt and crap behind us so it seems to work out well. And she's fantastic, she's got two extremely gorgeous kids as well and I loff them to bits!!! I'm determined to be honest with her because she's honest with me. So there!

I guess I don't really trust girls NOT to hurt me. Don't get me wrong, I tell my friends things. I just don't tell them everything. I'm too worried they'll think I'm stoopid or something. (Which in itself is stoopid but hey, I never said I was logical) Which shouldn't be that way.

I guess sometimes I also feel threatened by other girls. Actually, especially this one girl. And that's to do with my own self-esteem issues. (Crap...all my issues are coming out in this post!!!) But we won't go into them here because at the moment my self-esteem is on the rise and I'm giggly and getting butterflies. (But only at certain moments...)

THAT was cryptic. Lol. Maybe I'll blog about the possiblity of my love life actually going somewhere some other time. It's a distracting side note and I could be SO WRONG about this that it's not funny....

And on that note, we (I?) shall end this post abruptly here.