Girl Porn and Relationships

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Typical, right? Single, Christian gal...getting on in years somewhat - why wouldn't I think about relationships? It doesn't help that we had a huge deep and meaningful relationship talk last night parked outside church. (Why is it that all deep and meaningful relationship talks occur in the church carpark late at night?? ...but I digress...)

Really though, "relationship" - as in the atypical 'boy/girl more than friends' kind of relationship has been sort of a taboo word with me for the past two years or so.

Mainly because I'm cynical and horribly afraid of them. I used to be this really naive person who really, truly believed that her prince would come. White horse and everyting. And then he'd sweep me off my feet and we'd ride off into the sunset. See what romance movies do for you???

Not so long ago, (last year in fact) our pastor did a sermon on lust. Yeah, I know - BIG topic, right? I mean, most people would rather avoid the subject of lust - yet it's something that affects every single one of us. If anyone out there in the blogosphere finds this a gross generalisation - please, please email me and we can discuss this.

Back to the topic at hand - most sane people would just avoid the topic. But not good ol' Muzza. Man, he's awesome. He pointedout that one of the major differences between males and females is that males are image driven, whereas females are more imagination driven. Hence, males prefer pornography, hence the profiliation of so called "girlie mags" in the media today. Females, on the other hand, find that their imagination gets fed by things like romance novels/movies.

FANTASY.

I think it made us all sit up a little straighter in church that sunday. I actually remember exactly where I was sitting when this sermon was preached. After that we all started refering to chick flicks as "girl porn" - which is a rather nice way of putting it I guess.

But when we actually thought about it, it was true. Every time I watch Pride and Prejudice (Yep, the original Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy version) I think to myself: One day my Mr. Darcy will come, and he'll be an ass but that's okay because love will prevail and we will live happily ever after. (Or something to that effect.)

I cried when I watched The Notebook. All the while thinking that it would be nice to find a man who loved me that much. Heck, everytime I listen to John Mayer's Your Body is a Wonderland or Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul - I wish that girl was me. While I'm being brutally honest here, Love Song for No One feels like me a LOT of the time and I think Dave Matthews' Crash Into Me is one of the most romantic songs of all times.

But again, I'm tangenting.

I guess the point is that I'm realising more and more than love and relationships aren't something that you can bottle and describe just like that. No relationship is ever the same. Love isn't all easy going and floaty and happy. Rather, loving someone is a challenge and loving someone for the rest of your life is a commitment that you have to make every single day. No jokes.

Two very good friends of mine have been in a stable relationship for the past four years now. Both of them readily admit that the other is the person that drives them up the wall the most. But they love each other, and because they love each other they make a commitment to stick it out.

Love is a risk. And often I think about my unwillingness to take a risk on - well, anyone (Which has a lot to do with my own personal issues) - and I wonder what life would be like if God hadn't decided that he'd take a risk on each and every one of us. Because he took the hugest risk of all, really. He dared to love us even though we might not love him back. He dared to love us even though we have our bad hair days, our bad attitudes and our selfish human ways.

Now there's a risk. And I'd bet that if you asked God, he'd tell you that it was a risk that was definately worth taking. Completely. Utterly. Worthwhile.