Meet the youth worker

Sometimes it's really easy to be me, the youth worker/leader. Other times it's not so easy. Tonight, I got texted something not very nice about me that was supposed to go to someone else. Then I got about a billion apologies for it. It actually hurt a little - which I suppose it's supposed to do. (It's all good, means that I don't have a heart of stone.) Then I had to take someone home who really didn't want to go home because her mum's beating her again.

Meanwhile, I have a girl in Wellington who's partying it up because her team came third in the marching nationals and it's the first time I've seen/heard her happy in ages.

And, sometimes it's so easy to think "why me??" Other times I can slip into 'youth worker mode' just like that. Tonight was thankfully the latter.

My dear, dear mentor once said to me (not all that long ago, in fact) that it's easier to deal with their problems and issues when you're all good with God. If you're working through your own stuff then it's a whole lot easier to want to try to help others work through their stuff. She was right. (Funny that, she must be older and wiser than me; hence, my mentor...)

See, when I came back from being away I just could not be bothered. Seriously. And I think that was a lot to do with the fact that me and God hadn't really communicated in ages. We weren't really conversing and I'd just spent two months thinking about me and my future and what I wanted to do. Nevermind what God wanted me to do.

I got back and we were straight into things with youth group. Drove me nuts. Actually, that's not true. I had a great time with the other leaders on retreat. But I just didn't really want the "youth" part of youth group. Sometimes I still don't. I love them and all, but they're hard work! (And I don't mean that jestingly.)

But I know I'm meant to be here. I've learnt so much over the past two and a bit years. There's also a whole lot left for me to learn, but you know - I accept that!

Most of all, it's taught me about God's love. It's taught me that God's love has to underpin every single thing that we do. Otherwise we can't do it. We can't do it on our own. I think of last year and the police call outs, the times we had to hold people down so that they wouldn't hurt themselves or others, the stress the youth workers went through in school....the list goes on. We couldn't have done it if not for God. There's no way.

And I look at my girls now and I'm so damn proud of them. They've all come a long way. Yes, there's still issues, and there's moments when I want to chuck them all in a big ol' bag with rocks in the bottom and drop them in the middle of the ocean. But that's loving them.

Like I said before, love is a commitment. It's a choice.

Just my thoughts for the moment. I'm harping on about love a bit lately. Hm. Wonder what's on my mind???