Indescribable.

I don't know how to explain what God has done in my life. Well, I do. But I don't - if that makes sense!

There are no words to explain what He has done in my life.

I wasn't a drug addict.

I wasn't an alcoholic.

I wasn't abused.

But I was broken.

And though I'm no where near being whole I am on the journey to getting there. And I wouldn't be able to get there if it wasn't for him. You have no idea the sense of relief in knowing (and I forget this often!) that I don't have to worry. That I don't have to be in control. That there is a plan and even though I don't know the next step that I am going somewhere. The things that frustrate me don't need to frustrate me because I can have perspective. There is a bigger picture.

I get to be accepted. I get to be loved and not just in the broken, distorted way of human love. Because we can only love to a certain extent and our very human-ness distorts what love is meant to be. I get unconditional, lay-down-my-life-for-you love.

If you don't get what I'm talking about that's fine because I don't think you can until you're at the place you can understand that. But that's what it is for me.

I am a shopper of the times

I buy general stuff from Pak n Save. Meat and veg for Raeward and ocassionally go to the Funky Pumpkin or the Mad Butcher depending on what is cheap.

Basically, I am awesome.

So..

Just waiting at the moment...for something to happen?? Lol...I have no clue what's happening tonight but I was supposed to be picked up at 6.30 and it's now 6.45....

Hmmm...

ANYWAY...to fill in space I am here. Have been re-reading the Obernewtyn Chronicles by Isobel Carmody. I used to LOVE those books when I was a kid. Well, teenager at least! I read all four in high school. (At that stage there were only four) Now I've bought the first three (thanks Borders for your 50% off vouchers!) and she's written the fifth and the sixth book comes out end of this year in the states.

WHOOP.

I still love the books. I was semi-worried that they wouldn't be as good as I remembered - but they are. And it's kinda weird, I mean it's been a good 10 years since I've read them but certain parts of the books I still remember having read once I read them. Nice to know I just needed a little prodding to remember. Can't remember how the story ends though!

Looking forward to reading the fifth book at least, seeing as how it's the one I haven't read before. (And the 6th!) I'm so glad Borders is in town. I'd have had to order them in otherwise - and how expensive that would have been! At least with Borders I can just go in and get them.

Not that I have that much time to read at the moment - well, I did today but only because I was feeling lazy... THREE WEEKS today!

Time flies man...seriously, where has the year gone! The past week(s) have been a mad rush of sorting stuff out and organising to meet with people so that we can finalise things. Of course all these people have mad-long lists that we need to fulfil as well! Add that to the usual end of year rush and you have some serious fun times. Haha.

Short week next week which I'm REALLY looking forward to. We have organised a baking/fudge making day for then. Will be good to get all that sorted. And we are finally looking at final numbers and all that - also fun. I guess you just want people to have fun and have a good time. That and the whole getting married thing. Lol.

As an aside: my ride is still not here - should I worry? Or is this what hen's nights are supposed to be like??? (Or hen's early evenings...???)

But I am looking forward also to finally having a BREAK. Work has been mad. We are officially short-staffed again that that will probably continue into next year. Which is fine. The staff member we had did basically no work anyway...but you know. Makes it hard if you want a holiday. Oh well, the days will go fast at least.

And I am almost 24...which is a scary thought! Feels a little old.

But now I'm just rambling. Huh. If these people don't show up soon I'm going to take my collected newspaper and just go to bed. While the sun still shines. (Doncha love daylight savings???)

Love, love, love

I have been thinking about love lately.

And that song from Love Actually. You know the one.

Or maybe you don't.

But I do.

Anyway. According to the song, "all you need is love". (I consider myself an expert on said song because we sang it for Party in the Park last year - additionally, Izook and I will be working on the PitP website this year so watch this space! But I digress...)

I disagree with this. I don't think that ALL you need is love. That's just yet another of the sappy, mindless drivel that the media likes to feed us. Now, believe me, I'm not bitter. I just think that there are so many somewhat deluded people out there thinking that love is easy.

I'm not afraid to admit that there are times when love is easy. And those times are very, very nice indeed. But you can't tell me that love is "easy" for everyone all the time. That's a load of bollocks.

No really.

Sometimes I think we are all so caught up in what everyone perceives "love" is that when it doesn't meet our expectations we get let down and things fall to pieces.

And those are my thoughts for today.

Bed

Waking up is like the worst part of the day. Especially when you have to go to work. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's like punishment.

If it was up to me I'd stay in bed all day. And probably also watch tv...

Manic Monday

Hmmm...another week begins. Another sleepless night. I don't know what's wrong with me. I obviously have too many things/ideas/whatevers running around my mind.

Result: EXTREMELY tired today.

Oh well, at least I'm working less than half days today. Even better. I only worked about 2 hours today as for the third hour I had a co-eval/catch up with Tim.

Ahhh...wasting time.

Am ripping Janina's Counting Crows CD to my iPod. I am dying for some new music. I haven't bought a new CD in YONKS. I think the last one I bought was my Brooke Fraser CD. Which I love but it was back in November. C'mon!

Will probably watch yet another episode of Heroes today. And it's the first day of the Creative Arts school - which I'm really looking forward to!!! Excepting the fact that I may be the crappest bass player on the face of the planet. (Which is highly likely!)

Anyway, am tired and am now crapping on about nothing because i have nothing to say. Thank you and good night.

Yes, even though it's day time!!!

Holiday snapshots indispersed with random text

The long road to Wanaka...via Ohau. :)

I really must be having a lazy weekend! It still feels like I'm on holiday - even though the prospect of WORK looms heavily in the background for tomorrow. The boy's parents are still in Wanaka, so have been spending a lot of time there - inevitabley watching E! or The Living Channel and eating junk food. (I have also been too lazy to cook lately - it's like all the industry has gone out of me)

Lake Tekapo on a cloudy day

To be fair I mixed it up a little last night and watched Sky 1 - which had comedy on offer. It was almost nostalgic watching Two Guys and a Girl. (I'd seen the episode before) I miss comedy in light of all the crap reality tv we get these days. Also caught the pilot of the Pamela Anderson show 'Stacked'. The acting was paltry but it had it's moments. That, and I was too lazy to change the channel. Lol.

The lovely lake Ohau

Speaking of reality tv though...I've developed a terrible addiction to House of Carters. Well, it's not an addiction as such. It's just horribly fascinating. Such dysfunction!!! Who would have ever thought that superstar families don't have it all figured out?? The logical part of my brain insists that it is utter crap and yet I can't stop watching!!!

Trying for some scenery

Anyway, between that and Antiques Roadshow - ALSO strangely interesting. I manage to keep myself entertained. I don't know what I'll do when his parents come back and I have to give up sole possession of cable tv. Although hopefully by that point I'll be busy again...

Pretty flowers!!

Which reminds me...I really should get onto some web design work. I'm so lazy and I don't actually feel like doing anything at the moment. It's kinda boring. I've been helping the boy with his work - which is interesting. And it's not really help. It's more like: "Oh, you want a font similar to that? Try this." See? Not helping. Lol.

Koru

There is a lot I want to do in the new year though. The web design stuff is only part of it. I want to open my own gallery. Online, obviously. I don't have the capital for anything else. But hopefully it takes off. All I need is a name. I already have the willing hands to build it for me. (I love my baby, he's so talented!) But yes, just one of many ideas. It's scary, it's like I'm a grown up. I think I'm just acutely aware that I can't be a call centre CSR for ever. That would actually kill me. Probably literally.

Ahhh...Lord of the Rings. Where would we be without you?

I have a lot of South Island scenery here. Mainly because it really is beautiful down here. That and I've never really gone farther south before. (Well, I have once but it doesn't really count because it was a church trip...) So it was actually really nice to take lots of photos. And it really is very pretty. I'm looking forward to being able to play around with the shots I have. So yes, it looks a little like a "Visit New Zealand" ad for the moment.

But then again, I'd recommend visiting New Zealand to anyone. Unless you're one of those people who like staying indoors and/or shopping all the time....

Whoops!