Busy.

I haven't had much to say lately. Life has been, to put it simply, crazy.

Which probably explains why I'm feeling so drained today. I've basically had three weeks without a weekend. Consistantly. I keep looking forward to the next weekend only to find that it is full of "stuff".

Thing is, I don't mind the "stuff". In fact, most of it was quite enjoyable. Some of it was even awesome. It's just the timing that sucks.

It's really made me think about the way I spend my time. (Time seems so precious at the moment.) I am really, positively quite sure that busy-ness is a massive, life-sucking tool of the devil. Here's the thing, right? If can be busy with all matter of stuff that is abso-positively eternal - in the sense that it is a good way to spend my time. But if I'm giving out all the time I also need the time to fill up myself spiritually.

Because, and I'll be frank - living eternal is pretty difficult. I feel really challenged to start living my life in a way that counts. The thing is, I've found it really, really hard. It's like the moment I started trying all I found was roadblocks in the form of tiredness, leading to frustration, annoyance and all manner of other things. I know I need to lean on God more. But in the middle of the full on, frustrating day, I find it really difficult to step back and take perspective.

Learning curve, right? If there was an easy way I'd LOVE to know what it is!

Sadly, I'm quite doubtful of there being an easy way.

Lucky God is full of grace.

This week coming up is, again, crazy busy. I don't want my relationships to suffer for busy-ness and in a way they have been. Both with God and with Isaac and with other people. It's such a fine balance that I'm still learning about what that is.

Lucky God is full of grace.

Better still - lucky God knows who I was meant to be, and I trust he'll steer me in the right direction.

Hello June!

It's winter and it's COLD. Supposed to possibly snow (again) tomorrow so we'll see how that goes! I finally went out and got some new layering basics from Dotti since they're having a sale and all!

That and most of my basics are getting a few holes in them due to over-wearing. Work clothes wear out so quickly!

(Am slightly distracted...Petespace is on Rove)

Right...Petespace is over.

This week has been INTENSE at work. We're full on into new system training/updates and changing just about everything. One more week and we are re-entering EVERYTHING into the new system. Fun times.

Highlight of the week (apart from Isaac coming home from the West Coast) was seeing STOMP at the James Hay on Tuesday night. Opening night even! It was incredible. No photos as they weren't allowed, but I cannot believe the sense of rhythm those people have! It was so much fun and they had us all clapping and stomping along by the encore. And they were hilarious!

Dom Post review here (I can't find the Press one!)

If you want to go - and you should - you can buy tickets here. Only 8 shows so get in quick!

ANNND tomorrow is another show day. We are going to Disney's Princess Wishes on Ice. Yes, childish I know - but oh what a way to relive my childhood!!!! I'm excited :)

Indescribable.

I don't know how to explain what God has done in my life. Well, I do. But I don't - if that makes sense!

There are no words to explain what He has done in my life.

I wasn't a drug addict.

I wasn't an alcoholic.

I wasn't abused.

But I was broken.

And though I'm no where near being whole I am on the journey to getting there. And I wouldn't be able to get there if it wasn't for him. You have no idea the sense of relief in knowing (and I forget this often!) that I don't have to worry. That I don't have to be in control. That there is a plan and even though I don't know the next step that I am going somewhere. The things that frustrate me don't need to frustrate me because I can have perspective. There is a bigger picture.

I get to be accepted. I get to be loved and not just in the broken, distorted way of human love. Because we can only love to a certain extent and our very human-ness distorts what love is meant to be. I get unconditional, lay-down-my-life-for-you love.

If you don't get what I'm talking about that's fine because I don't think you can until you're at the place you can understand that. But that's what it is for me.

Fly, fly my pretty!

My week has gone so quickly! Seriously. We're at thursday already, and let's be honest right now it's pretty much friday. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, it hasn't really gone to plan. It was supposed to be my "down" week. (Up week is small group week)

The weekend has blown out on me due to Mother's Day - not that I mind as I appreciate a day that is all about appreciating my mum - but with two families it takes a lot of negotiating. Less with my family and more so with Isaac's. But that's ok.

House stuff is totally in full swing and taking up time! But that's good, sooner we get it all started the sooner they can start building!

Stupidly I also made dinner plans for Saturday. Not stupid as in I don't want to go, because I do. It's just that it means that Saturday is REALLY full on. As is Sunday. Hmmm...

I may need a weekend after the weekend.

Few "interesting" things have happened at work lately. Nothing I'm willing to elaborate in the public sphere but just a number of things have happened that have made me go "hmmm..." And some days I don't really want to be there, but I know very certainly that God wants me to be there so there's no real arguing with that, is there?!

Trying to find time to write but it seems a little far off now. Hoping things settle down soon!!!! Barely time to Tweet, let alone blog, let alone songwrite.

Ageism

Sometimes I look in the mirror when the make-up is off and I feel old.

We had a retro worship night tonight...not just the '80s but the '90s too...good to listen to the old stuff but MAN the 90s feel like a LONG time ago!!

One of my ex-youth group girls is ENGAGED!! I'm happy for her but am also thinking it doesn't seem like that long ago she was in high school...

Perhaps when we all have kids I will ponder this again. Thing is the best time is now!!! Loving to live the dream...or at least part of it!

New to come

Working on a new layout. Wanted autumnal but am leaning towards Spring. Hope for the future perhaps?

Getting slowly re-addicted to Shorty Street. Not sure if it's bad or not. But the acting sure is!!! *sigh*

So...this week have met with the builder/real estate agent and today we met with the mortgage broker. All very positive sounding. Will just have to see what the banks say now!!! Feels so old and grown up though!

Watch this space!!

Freedom!

Well, it is officially Easter weekend for me due to a mix up in when Isaac's graduation is. (It's Thursday, not Wednesday)

But that's ok. Initially I was planning on spending most of Weds with the kitten, but that has obviously gone out the window now. So I am filling my day with things like baking and going to Journey Towards Easter and preparing for heading down to Ohau. Again, we originally weren't going any where for the holiday but with kitty gone it seems like a good time to get out of the house as it's a little uncomfortable-feeling here sometimes.

Sometimes I think I see the kitten sitting somewhere on the floor. It always ends up being my shoes or something like that. But I don't expect him to walk into the room as much any more :(

So tomorrow will be okay. Just me. My parents get back tomorrow so may stop in for a visit and Isaac and I are planning on trialing the delights of Wagamama tomorrow night as a pre-graduation celebration.

I feel that I will probably have to take a few deep breaths. But that's okay. I'm doing okay and that is really only due to the grace of God.

We are looking at places to move to. Places to buy. Looking into how much we can/need to borrow. It's all very exciting and grown up. I'm believing for the right place and the provision to get it.

Still haven't heard about the job I applied for. But that's all good. Supposed to hear by the end of the week - but I'm not there (haha). I'm not worried though, I still like my current job well enough and part of me would feel bad for leaving in such a time of change.

6 days off work! Whoop!

Thoughts

We are thinking of buying a house.

For a number of reasons:

1. The market is really good right now and it's probably good to take advantage of it before it changes again. (Btw - how much of a grown up do I sound like using terms like "the market")

2. One day at some stage I would like another kitty. Simply because I miss Mr Squirrel's company very, very much. We can't do that here, not with the dogs and all.

3. Some days this house feels claustrophobic because it's ours but it's not.

4. I want my own place. And more space.

Last week was really hard. I miss my kitty like nothing else. It sucks knowing that he's never coming back. I have gone over so many things in my head and cried so many tears. We had a beautiful memorial service for him yesterday - I think it helped. And I guess with time I will stop being sad and remember the good times. I'll see him again one day - I really, really believe that.

The whole house buying thing was a bit of an impulse decision. Especially when we were upset at the neighbors and their dogs. But now I think we'll do it. We have a couple of areas we like. So yes. Watch this space.

Week in review

So...I am actually exhausted. Isaac has a work leaving dinner tonight and I am declining attending due to tiredness. It's been quite a full on week. Mainly due to having to organise a raffle for today at work - which was a GREAT success by the way. We raised $394 for our sponsored kids! It means that we don't have to run another raffle for another three months! Whoop!

It kinda got dumped on my desk this week and I was told that we were pretty much out of previously raised money. In true Press organisational style! All good though, we rallied and managed to put together two hampers plus a guys prize pack and a womens prize pack (including Redken hair products, L'oreal mineral make up, Bobbi Brown lip gloss and Clinique eye shadow - yes I really wanted to win that one!)

Incredible huh!

That, work in general and the new "baby" makes life quite involved at the moment. Neither Isaac nor I have ever had a cat before. And a kitten is very different to a puppy! He's very affectionate though - hates being shut away when we're at work (but he's getting used to it now!) - and he's learning not to climb up us anymore! The backs of both our hands are covered in kitty scratches though!

So yes, following on from J&J's wedding and all the stuff we had to do then - it was quite full on! I'm glad it's the weekend!

Speaking of the wedding:

The Church filling up

The Bride - awww!

The Kiss!

Watching the races at the Showgate

That's me!!!

Entrance of the Mr & Mrs


Mmm...cake!

Our slightly overexposed table (in terms of lighting!)

Me and Melsie

Wedding finery!

So yes, was a good night and good times! Just such a busy day what with the making pure chocolate truffles for the afternoon tea (yummy!) and setting up the reception venue after the ceremony!

No wonder this week has been exhausting!

No rest for the weary

Well, that is not ENTIRELY true...

Holiday was awesome! Nice to sleep in and just relax and not worry about having to do anything. Talk about having to change your state of mind! Not used to this relaxing business!

But we had some awesome views:

Lake Henry Conservation Area Te Anau

Only about a million ducks!

Small church for lease in Manapouri - 6 months free lease!

It was very fun. Naturally, the week went WAY too quickly! It seemed like we were heading home a little too soon - with only two days before heading back to work - which has ALSO gone too quickly!

Have spent the past two days unpacking and moving Isaac's stuff in. On top of normal life stuff - like washing and ironing! I think this is the first time I've sat down properly for more than 5 mins all day!!!

And I need to do the ironing now.

But for the moment - my current favorite wedding picture:

Fun times :)

So..

Just waiting at the moment...for something to happen?? Lol...I have no clue what's happening tonight but I was supposed to be picked up at 6.30 and it's now 6.45....

Hmmm...

ANYWAY...to fill in space I am here. Have been re-reading the Obernewtyn Chronicles by Isobel Carmody. I used to LOVE those books when I was a kid. Well, teenager at least! I read all four in high school. (At that stage there were only four) Now I've bought the first three (thanks Borders for your 50% off vouchers!) and she's written the fifth and the sixth book comes out end of this year in the states.

WHOOP.

I still love the books. I was semi-worried that they wouldn't be as good as I remembered - but they are. And it's kinda weird, I mean it's been a good 10 years since I've read them but certain parts of the books I still remember having read once I read them. Nice to know I just needed a little prodding to remember. Can't remember how the story ends though!

Looking forward to reading the fifth book at least, seeing as how it's the one I haven't read before. (And the 6th!) I'm so glad Borders is in town. I'd have had to order them in otherwise - and how expensive that would have been! At least with Borders I can just go in and get them.

Not that I have that much time to read at the moment - well, I did today but only because I was feeling lazy... THREE WEEKS today!

Time flies man...seriously, where has the year gone! The past week(s) have been a mad rush of sorting stuff out and organising to meet with people so that we can finalise things. Of course all these people have mad-long lists that we need to fulfil as well! Add that to the usual end of year rush and you have some serious fun times. Haha.

Short week next week which I'm REALLY looking forward to. We have organised a baking/fudge making day for then. Will be good to get all that sorted. And we are finally looking at final numbers and all that - also fun. I guess you just want people to have fun and have a good time. That and the whole getting married thing. Lol.

As an aside: my ride is still not here - should I worry? Or is this what hen's nights are supposed to be like??? (Or hen's early evenings...???)

But I am looking forward also to finally having a BREAK. Work has been mad. We are officially short-staffed again that that will probably continue into next year. Which is fine. The staff member we had did basically no work anyway...but you know. Makes it hard if you want a holiday. Oh well, the days will go fast at least.

And I am almost 24...which is a scary thought! Feels a little old.

But now I'm just rambling. Huh. If these people don't show up soon I'm going to take my collected newspaper and just go to bed. While the sun still shines. (Doncha love daylight savings???)

Man...

It feels GOOD not to have work today!!!

Plans so far...clean my extremely messy house, go shoe shopping, coffee with Rob. Oh and Areosmith is playing and the sun is shining! Nice change after the HAIL yesterday. Who loves the unpredictability of Spring!!!

Centennial weekend is over - well, for me anyway. It was a good - but tiring - day yesterday! The church has been going for 100 years now. Crazy! Was really cool to look at all the photos and stuff though :) Memories...

Anyway, had people over last night - Isaac was obviously not as tired as I was! - and none of the dishes have been done. The place is basically a sty - but that's ok...lots of time today.

Also...we are like officially a month out (or something) which is pretty freaky. I mean, I'm looking forward to it. But I hate the attention. And in so many ways I almost feel too young to get married. I think that's a mental age though! Lol...I must still be a kid at heart.

Although, you can't blame me...look at the people I work with:



Retards!!!!

Lol...but we have fun :)

Weekend already?

Seriously, where has the week gone???

Friday morning. Had work drinks last night AND choir. Whole weekend taken probably with Inspire and signing of tenancy for the house.

Then it will be Monday.

Not too sure when my life became like this...

Boo-urns

I totally wrote this awesome blog entry about how Baghdad Baby was awesome - and left it on my computer at work.

So all you fantabulous punters will have to make do with a not-so-awesome entry about how I have the house all to myself for another hour. Because then Jen comes to stay!

The boys are off partying it up in Wellington. So yes. "Allllll by myself!!!" I don't really mind. So far today I have done tae bo and cooked breakfast. Yes, these two things seem at odds with each other. But I remain confident that the amount I consumed is less than what I've burnt.

I'm considering lowering my carb intake. I was slightly concerned last night when I tried my wedding dress on again. I haven't really been watching what I eat because I haven't needed to. But I can't think of anything worse happening than suddenly not being able to fit into this very expensive dress! So yes, watching what I eat! I will stop bringing baked goods into work and instead opt for fruit and vegetables.

YUM.

I don't really mind too much. I think it's more a matter of being careful than being TOO hard core. So yes, diet galore! Only I'm not calling it a diet. I shall think of some other much more exciting name to give it!

Shame I am not muslim. I could be fasting for Ramadan next week. That would probably help! But it is also a fairly shallow reason to turn muslim. And also, not really into the muslim thing so much. So yeah.

We've had sunshine for the past two days - it gives me great hope that Spring is FINALLY on it's way! I'm so sick of rain and snow. Perhaps the ground will finally get a chance to thaw out. Perhaps I will finally get a chance to thaw out! I hate being cold!!

So yes, I find that I have little to do on the internet these days. I start most days with the intent of doing things. Like update the wedding gift register etc. But work has been hidiously busy. Like, I have not known busyness up until now. Oh the stress. I have gone from putting one daily paper out to putting out one daily, two weekly (one with three different editions) and one twice weekly paper out. And of course ALL the deadlines clash for these!

Disfunctional.

Thus work tends to be a madhouse for hours at a time and then I suddenly have nothing to do because it's lunchtime. And then I come back from lunch and it's a madhouse again. FUNNN.

I shall abruptly end here. :)

Glorious weekends

I just don't know where the week's go to. Wasn't it the beginning of July not THAT long ago? And now all of a sudden we are mid (verging on end of) July.

(Please note that when I say "verging on" it is because I work in the newspaper industry and hence am always three days ahead of myself anyway...I think this is why my weeks go so fast...but I have no empirical proof to back this up with...)

It is pouring with rain this morning. Was kinda nice to be able to lie in and know that I didn't need to be anywhere for AGES and listening to the rain on the roof. Cold out of bed but what the hey.

Last night:

Boys playing Cranium. Smid is like the Godfather.

We break the pantry door (no, really) and Smid has to fix it. Jen sprays us. Lol.

Charades...

We are such children sometimes!!! Ah well, at least we amuse ourselves. Retarded though we may be. I shall miss such nights.

I feel like I should have lots to do today, but am completely unmotivated to move from the couch to having a shower. Although I really need to...

Digression: I made an egg and mushroom muffin sandwich for breakfast...very tasty but resulted in egg getting EVERYWHERE. My clothes, my hair...argh!

Hence need for shower. I'm sure everyone wanted - no, NEEDED - to know that. Hah!

Am glad for a work free day. And even better than a work free day is a work free haircut achieving day. I have needed a hair cut for SO long and have been putting it off because of non-money-having-ness. (Hint: If you hyphenate everything it automatically becomes a word - coining and assimilation into the general lexicon be damned!) But the payrise has FINALLY kicked in and I am celebrating. Plus, if I get hairdresser for the wedding out of this I will be stoked.

Double whoop for no work though, everything is getting a little "politic" and catty. Tired of it. Some people just need to get over past issues and let bygones be bygones. Don't ruin what we have!!! Lol.

Right...shower time!

The past...month (?) in pictures

The day we had so many dishes that we did not know what to do...also known as the night we had fish pie...

See...not jus tin the corner but all the way down the bench!!! Possibly the laziest moment ever in our flat.

The day after Jem's birthday...the Arrested Development allusion that he did not get and hence we were successful in confusing him. Although that is sometimes not hard.

The sun coming out from behind the clouds today...we are in Ohau, it has snowed, rained and the sun has shone. Life is good :)

Okay...so, whatever happened to weekends where one could just laze around and do nothing? I feel like I haven't really stopped doing things for the past two weeks. And they have FLOWN by...all of a sudden it's July???

What happened to June???

Also, July seemed very far away not that long ago and now it is basically here. On Tuesday.

Crazy...it's been so, so busy but really, really fun (if not stressful...)!

I'm in this place where I'm not very descriptive at the moment. It's weird. So often I get this feeling like I'm part of something so much bigger than me and I still don't know what that thing is. I don't know where my path leads at the moment...it's a little like blindness, but it's exciting as well.

Wow...

Feels like forever since I've had the time just to sit and think...

The engagement party went well, probably better than well actually! I didn't realise we had so many friends. Haha. No, seriously, it was really fun and just good to catch up with people we hadn't seen in awhile. And there was SO MUCH food!!! Neither of us got to eat anything as we were so busy socialising.

Needless to say, there are no pictures - also due to socialising.

I have lost a flatmate and I don't know where he is...am marginally worried. And our internet is playing up again...hmmm...

Am making tea for the boy and I - we have the house to ourselves tonight, which doesn't happen very often around here!

Saturday

Woke up SO early today...about an hour later than I normally would on a work day! Sucks. Have been in bed all this time but about to get up and make yummy breakfast and real brewed coffee. Deserve a treat damnit! Then will bake and do dishes and possibly laundry.

Engagement party tonight and fingers are numb from being out from under the covers....

Weekends?

SO tired. Flatwarming was "great success" (you know the tone, now use it!!) but had to be up early today for an ear test and then out with Mum to look at dresses etc. Not a fun thing to do with very little sleep in you!

I feel like I haven't really wound down from the week - and yet that is SO what I need to do!!!

No photos from the flatwarming either - wasn't really the place. Although we LOOKED damn popular as the place was packed out. The boy and I are supposed to be going to another flatwarming tonight. But I can barely keep my eyes open. All I want to do is curl up in bed and watch the last few eps of House that are on my laptop.

Also as that means that we can start watching the third season of Veronica Mars - which FINALLY showed on Thursday. *parties*

I have also resigned myself to the fact that I will not have free weekend to do "me" things until mid-April. Yes, my life is THAT exciting. And for three of those four weekends I will be out of town. Thankfully easter comes in there somewhere so hopefully I'll at least be able to veg then...HOPEFULLY.

We're down south for Easter. The boy's sister's boyfriend is coming to meeting the whole family for the first time. He must be a brave man. It'll probably rain the whole time we're there and we'll be stuck in the house together. Lol.

Oooh...food's here :)